Thursday, September 17, 2009

rollercoaster update

My emotions, thoughts, life are so up, down, over, around, under, above, all over the darned place that is nearly impossible for me to blog without either dissolving in tears or hysterical laughter.

Neither is a very appealing option as I recline on the floor of my coworkers apartment to steal internet for a few hours... so I will try to keep it together long enough to post a little update.


I will start with the negative, because I like to end on a chipper note. ;)

After I wrecked my car, the garage I sent it to gave me a loaner car for awhile. Last monday night I drove said loaner up north to visit some friends and got lost on the way home. I finally found the expressway and would have made it home before midnight when I glanced at my gas gauge and noticed I was nearly on empty. So off I went into the unknown, searching desperately for a gas station open that late at night... something that is not so common on this little island.
Finally I stopped in at a convenience store and they (charades-style) directed me to a self-service station. Sweet.
I pulled up to the pump around midnight, sleepily punched some buttons (guessing at the Japanese), and began to gas up. When the tank was full, I set the nozzel back on the pump only to notice, in large English letters, the word "diesel" printed across the top.

Now, I am completely car illiterate. I honestly didn't even know how to pump gas properly until earlier this year, but even I knew that putting diesel in a non-diesel car was a bad thing.
So I got back in the car, put my head on the steering wheel, and shook back the sleepy trying to think. Should I risk it and just drive home? I just wanted to go home. Luckily, I decided to consult the source of all worldly wisdom: google search. The first result said something along the lines of, "Whatever you do, don't start your car, you car-illiterate moron!!"

To make a long story short, I spent the night at a friend's, cabbed back to my car in the morning, slept in the oppressive heat in my car for three hours, got a tow truck ride back to my home town, and had to face a very unhappy supervisor and vice principal for missing a day of work (don't worry, I called ahead of time and told them I wouldn't be in.)

Feeling pretty low, I bummed rides/walked to and from work for a couple days, and then gathered my courage to beg for the car back. On the trip home, exhausted, flustered, stressed, and not entirely focused, I turned into oncoming traffic in front of a cop and my supervisor.

I avoided another accident (Thank you, God.) but this little incident put me over the edge and I was soon bawling on the phone with mom and hiding from my boss in the woman's bathroom. Not my proudest moment.

A few other things went wrong last week, and there were a few times when I wanted nothing more than to stay in bed and forget about the cruel world outside my door. I even dreamed about returning to Seattle once, but even in my dream I knew that was a bad idea. I am here, and committed, and no crappy week can change that.

When the weekend hit I passed up a couple opportunities to go out with friends and opted for a quite weekend in with a harddrive full of new "borrowed" movies and a fridge full of fresh fruit. Best choice possible.

This week I have a much better attitude about life here. Of course it is hard, and there are sooo many things which drive me crazy (like the fact that is going to take over two months to get interenet... ridiculous), and sometimes, in weak moments, I fall back into a grump, complaining mood, but there are SOOOOO many great things. Like my students, and my new friends, and my lovely apartment which is so comforting and happy, and a whole HOST of supportive people back home cheering me on, cheering me up, and urging me forward.

3 comments:

  1. Dear, sweet ReBekha, I'm very sorry that you've been having a rough time over there in Okinawa. I wish I could bake you cookies and give them to you with lots and lots of hugs to go with 'em. :S Instead, I will be praying for you. I know how hard it can be to be so totally out of your element and away from your typical support net. Just know that we're all here for you, no matter how far away that may be. You are LOVED--even on the other side of the world!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am so incredibly proud of you, ReBekha. I just discovered this blog by way of your fb page, and can honestly say that even though you experienced this very difficult go at it, THINGS WILL GET BETTER. And believe it or not, dear friend, all of it will add to you. Your character will grow through challenges such as these. Since this post was nearly two months ago, maybe you are beginning to see some of that growth already. Maybe not. Either way though, my start in Edmonds (almost eight years ago now) was very similar to this. You are adjusting to change, so try and be patient with yourself through the process and don't beat yourself up when you mess up ok? You're remarkable. You are wonderful and absolutely delightful, and when God looks at you, He grins. :D

    Love you sooo much and partnered with you always!

    ReplyDelete
  3. So I'm a few months late responding to this one but GIRL you are a brave brave woman to have made it through all that car trouble here and still be left standing (and driving)! I commend you immensely. I'm sure you can see in retrospect how all this shiz only made you stronger, right? I can see that strength for sure, and I just met you :)

    ReplyDelete