I'm at Narita airport now, in Tokyo. Soon I will board the long international flight to the U.S. I've been here many times, in fact, I was in this same spot almost exactly three months ago, about to embark on almost the same flight, wearing my same "travel skirt;" however, I couldn't be more different.
The ReBekha who boarded that December flight to America was nearly bursting with excitement. Her left hand, newly adorned with a shiny ring, seemed to float through the airport. She beamed at every stranger she passed, hoping they'd ask her where she was going, and why.
It's easy to tell people about an engagement. You show them the ring, squeal a little, absorb every "Congratulations!" and "When's the wedding?!" Absorb all that excitement and beam it right back at them.
But how do you tell people the opposite?
As I sit at this same gate, preparing to board this same flight, wearing the same clothes, I feel like a completely different person. I can't stand to look strangers in the eye, because I am afraid they will know. My left hand, though newly unburdened, seems to be made of lead. If anyone asked me where I was going and why, I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to answer.
I don't know how to be this person, and I don't know how to share this news. Posting it on a public blog is probably the worst way, but I need people to just know. I need them to not ask "When's the wedding?!" to not shout "Congratulations!" and to not look for the ring. It's not there now, and it never will be again.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
To celebrate graduation day, and for old-time's-sake, Max, Sun, and I went to lunch at Cafe Kugafu. While there, we kept an eye on little baby Dion, whose family owns the cafe. When we were getting ready to go back to school for an International Club meeting, the cafe got incredibly busy. I knew that Kazuno (Dion's mom) would be extremely busy trying to take care of customers and watch Dion, so I offered to take him back to school with me for the afternoon.
Back at Koyo, we waited for the club meeting to start, and Dion fell deeply asleep in my arms. When it was finally time for the meeting to start, I walked in and the room exploded!