Monday, January 18, 2010

Terrible Teacher >_<

Today I feel like a miserable, awful teacher. No matter how hard I try, I just can't get anything right. My students are lost, I am stumbling, the material is lacking... I don't know what it is! During first period debate class I couldn't get my point across with a sledge hammer. It doesn't help that I didn't have any coffee this morning and that the material is about as interesting as my blogs. (heh. ;) Sorry, readers.)

Some of the fumbles this morning were due to being under prepared, I must admit. During second period, I didn't have enough copies made and had to rush to the computer for more. My co-teacher looked at me like I had grown an extra set of eyeballs out of my forehead. uuugh.

I think the worst part about this day in particular is the wacky schedule. Koyo (my school) is holding entrance exams (for potential students) this week and everything is messed up. Really messed up.

For example:
Monday was Friday's schedule, but only in the morning. The afternoon was all entrance exams.
Today's schedule is Wednesday's full schedule.
Wednesday's schedule is Wednesday morning's schedule only with exams in the afternoon.
Friday's schedule is Friday afternoon's schedule in the morning with exams in the afternoon.

Thursday is the only day that is normal! So, I have my Friday afternoon and Wednesday morning classes twice this week, but my Tuesday and Monday classes not at all. Why?? I really, really don't understand the logic there.

This weird schedule lead to my final mishap of the day. I confused today's "Full Wednesday" schedule with tomorrow's "Half Wednesday" schedule and thought I was free after lunch. I was sitting at my desk doing some grading when my co-teacher rushed down to get me. Five minutes late for my fourth period class. GAH! It has happened once before with this teacher, too. I agreed to teach an extra Christmas class to some second year students, and then it slipped my mind because I didn't properly schedule it.

What an awful feeling.

Now I am actually free for the rest of the afternoon, but am so flustered and discouraged that I can't bring myself to do any work. I really need to. I have to prepare for my second Wednesday morning classes of the week o I don't have to come in early tomorrow, am not all exhausted, and don't make so many mistakes again.

I think I am going to go close my eyes in the tatami room for a bit. Have I told you we have a room just for napping? Yeah, there are advantages to teaching in Japan.

Maybe when I wake up this whole day will have been a nightmare.


  1. Look for short term goals, ReBekha. Figure out how you are going to get to the end of the week, then break it down by what will get you through the day. Once you start checking off those goals you'll be on your way out of this week. And things will improve come next week, or the next. You know this. If you have to sacrifice some of your genkiness for your own sanity, so be it. The students understand you won't always be at the top of your game. Just get yourself moving forward and forgetting about today..

  2. Today at work, I was really discouraged because I suspect one of my coworkers/employees is lying to me about something, and I don't think I can actually get to the bottom of this matter--which involves several people. I was distressed and frustrated about it earlier today, but one of my older coworkers--also a manager, but not mine--said not to sweat the small stuff. If we can find out what's really going on, great, but if not, well, I can't dwell on it.

    I think that's where I was going with this. You can't dwell on it. Chalk it up to experience, shake it off, smile, and remember that your mistakes aren't what make you YOU. You can try again, and you'll do better. You're learning, so give yourself the grace to learn--mistakes and all!--and learn to love yourself through it. :)